My best friend Kate bought me a Beta fish today. I swear I have some of the most amazing people that I call friends. My desk at the office is so lonley and know I have Damien to keep me company, or at least something to stare at for 8 hours everyday. It was just so kind of her to think of me and know how much a fish would brighten me day. I have accountability time tonight and I am very grateful that my partner has not killed me yet. I have been so busy that our times together has been really spaced out. I am trusting God will continue to carve out time for her and my Grandma. Weekly time with them is really important this year to me. I also have to start packing because I have a flight that I have to leave at 5am for on Friday. I love airports. I love everything about them. So I am very excited to get to fly to North Carolina to see my BIG kim. I am so thankful that I have not lost contact with her. I have not seen her since I was maid of honor in her wedding back in July. Wiht her hubby being in the army she moves a lot so I have to catch her while shes close. 
Funny story about airplanes and myself. The first time I flew overseas to Europe my senior year of highschool I didn’t know you could change the language channel on your headphones and I watched “The Incredibles” in French. No clue until I was complaining later to a friend and he started laughing because he was sitting right next to me the whole flight listening in English. I’m that girl.
I have also been on an 80’s kick this week with music and been dancing around to songs like “You spin me around” and “I want to dance with somebody”. On that note Chapter 4 is going to be very easily summed up. McLaren takes this opportunity to disscuss atheism and why people come to this conclusion. Its one of the longer chapters and while it has some really relevent material for the searcher I was going through it a bit faster than I usually do. It was def. worth reading however. He takes the time to outline many of the reasons people choose to put their faith into atheism which was helpful to me because as you read it you can iddentify thought patterns of people you know and learn to relate to some new ones. I even saw my former self in one of the thought patterns even though i always belived in God. He talks about the perosn who rejects faith because they don’t want to be hypocritical. They want to live their life their way and not have people judge thier choices because they put the term Christian on their forehead. They want to drink, have sex, dress how they want, ect. and they fear that God will get in the way of those desires. Truth is, He will. The good news. He doesn’t ruin the party or make you misrable because you gave up all those “fun” desires.
He changes your desires in completely. After I acccepted Christ and truly started living my life for him, the things that were previously “fun” and I had clinged to so stubbornly didn’t even appeal to me anymore. Just several weeks ago I found myself akwardly standing in a bar with some friends when I realized I didn’t want to be there. I looked at the people aroudn me dancing and doing shots and the way they were dressed and then I looked at myself in the mirror accross the room and thought “this is the last place I want to be”. Now there was a time this was the only place I wanted to be. The noise, the dancing, my friends, dressing up. Now all those things are fine but God has changed my heart so much that I don’t even enjoy these things anymore. Am i boring? Ask my friends, I dont think so. I have just found new things to do that I belive honor the Lord and don’t put me in positions to make compromises of my integruity.
